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The Odd Couple/Quotes
:Cosmo: Giant nagging goldfish dead ahead, sir! :Wanda: How many times have I told you, I don't nag! :Cosmo: Nagging! :Timmy: Fire one! ---- :Mrs. Turner: Timmy? What was that noise? :Timmy Turner: ...it wasn't a torpedo? (pushes torpedo shell behind him) :Mrs. Turner: Timmy Turner, I sent you up here to clean your room, just wait until your father gets... :Mr. Turner: ...home early? Did I hear my name being used threateningly? ---- :Mr. Turner: (to his wife) Oh man, you're so beautiful when you're angry! :Mrs. Turner: Oh, honey, and you're beautiful when you're telling me I'm beautiful and angry! I've completely forgotten my rage towards Timmy! ---- :Timmy: Wow, did you see that? When Dad got all mushy, Mom forgot how angry she was! :Wanda: And speaking of angry, which of you idiots fired a torpedo at me? :(Cosmo raises his wand and poofs up gifts and balloons for Wanda) :Wanda: Oh Cosmo, you're so romantic! I've completely forgotten my rage toward Timmy and/or Cosmo! ---- :(to a pianist that plays dramatic music when she is introduced) :Vicky: STOP FOLLOWING ME! ---- :Timmy: Don't I have a choice in this? :Vicky: You have two choices.... Clean every toilet in this house, or... DRINK OUT OF THEM! ---- :(Cosmo and Wanda are toilet cleaning products) :Cosmo: Hey, why am I the cleanser? You're the abrasive one! :(Timmy grabs Wanda and uses her to scrub the toilet) :Cosmo: Oh no, our relationship is in the toilet! ---- :Vicky: Wow, there is nothing to distract me from my rage! Hahaha! ---- :Timmy: That's it! I wish Vicky had a boyfriend... but not just any boyfriend, the perfect boyfriend for Vicky, so she'll be too distracted to be mean anymore! ---- :(Vicky answers the front door) :Vicky: Who are you and what do you want? :Ricky: Hi, I'm Ricky. I'm selling magazines door to door so I can pay my way through medical school, and I saw this sign that said cute girl wants hot fresh magazines. :Vicky: But these are the Turners' magazines! ...Hey, you stole these magazines out of the Turner's mailbox, and are trying to sell them to me to make a quick buck! (hearts form) ...and I thought you were just a pretty face! ---- :Timmy: Hey, what's going on? :Vicky and Ricky: (simultaneously) Go to bed... :(They look at each other, and then back to Timmy) :Vicky and Ricky: (simultaneously) TWERP! :(They look at each other again) :Vicky and Ricky: (simultaneously) Where have you been all my life? ---- :Mr. Turner: Sooo, ready for more dancing? :Mrs. Turner: We've danced in every room in this house, and we can't go out and dance unless Vicky babysits. Where could she be? :Timmy: Out having a musical montage with her new boyfriend Ricky? :Mr. Turner: Ooh, I've got an idea! Why don't they montage at our house! We can pay them double! :Timmy: Uh-oh. :Ricky: (at front door with Vicky) Did someone say... double? ---- :Mr. Turner: Ooh, sweet! With two babysitters we can get down with our bad selves twice as long! CAN I GET A WITNESS? ---- :Timmy: Man that was one tough montage. This is not what I wanted to happen. I've doubled the pain! :Cosmo: But now you've got a promising career as a footstool! :Timmy: I wish they would break up! :Wanda: Timmy, you know Da Rules! We can't break up true love, and they're in love now! :Timmy: I didn't want love! I wanted distracting romance! :Cosmo: Ahh! Where's a torpedo when you need one? :Timmy: You don't even know if it is true love! What if this is just fake teen love? :Wanda: Then we can totally rip it apart! But you're going to have to prove it! :Timmy: There's only one thing to do! We've got to prove it's not true love, which means it's time for... a stakeout montage! ---- :(Ricky and Vicky are arm wrestling) :Ricky: Cupcakeface, you do a lot of babysitting, right? :Vicky: I sure do, sweetheart! :Ricky: So you must have a lot of extra money, right nuzzleneck? :Vicky: I sure do, lovebucket! :Ricky: So, if you were going to, oh, I don't know, pick four consecutive numbers for your secret bank code, what would they be? :Vicky: Something simple like zero, zero, zero, zero, babydoll puppy pie! :Ricky: (throws Vicky to hard to the ground) Well, puddin' arms, I have to run to the bank. But not just any bank. Which bank do you go to? :Vicky: Dimmsdale National! :Ricky: Cool! (steals items from Vicky's house) I'm just gonna borrow this stuff to get into the bank with. See ya! ---- :Timmy: See? Ricky's not really in love with Vicky... just her money! There's no way this is true love! I wish they were apart! :(Wanda raises her wand, but the magic farts out) :Wanda: But Vicky's still in love with him! There's nothing we can do. :Timmy: Then I have to break them up myself. There's got to be something else I can use to break up Vicky and Ricky's relationship. TO THE INTERNET! ---- :Timmy: (typing Ricky's online dating profile) "Single red-headed teen male seeks RICH mate with TONS of MONEY" ...Now lets sit back and watch the flood of love-starved replies! :Computer: (displaying zero replies) You've got nothing. :Cosmo: So that's what a reply looks like! :Wanda: Timmy, you have to make Ricky sound attractive to somebody other than Vicky! Try this! (types) "SENSITIVE single red-headed teen male seeks RICH MATE with TONS of MONEY WHO LOVES SHOPPING, EMOTION, AND CATS as much as I do." :Timmy: What? That's stupid! That'll never... :Computer: You've got tons of mail. (computer then displays about a million replies) :Cosmo: Woah! Look at all the rich girls! (Wanda angrily glares at Cosmo) Uhhh...you know for Ricky. ---- :Dolores-Day: (young beautiful blond woman is her profile picture) Hiya, handsome. I've got teen beauty pageant millions, so if you like money, and lots of it, let's get married! ---- :(Ricky has Vicky with her eyes closed as he steals more of her money) :Vicky: You have a surprise for me, peach pie? What is it? :Ricky: It's something REALLY special! :Timmy: (off-screen) HEY RIICCCCKKKKKY!!!!! I'm having trouble lifting my really heavy piggy bank! :Ricky: (to Vicky) I'll be right back, fudge face! :Vicky: I'll be counting the moments! ---- :Ricky: Piggy bank, huh? :Timmy: Check this out! :Ricky: (reading computer screen) "Teen beauty pageant millions"? Wow! Suddenly I'm in love all over again! And by all over again, I mean for the first time! :Dolores-Day: Click on the "I DO" button to marry me, and my millions will be yours! :Ricky: Done and done! (presses I DO button on keyboard) :Computer: You've got commitment! I now pronounce you husband and wife! ---- :Vicky: One kid in pain, two kids in pain, three kids in pain, four kids in pain, five kids in pain, six kids in pain... :(Ricky runs past her) :Vicky: Sugar pants! Feel like another rousing game of "Hide My Cash"? :Ricky: (snatches Vicky's money) ...Yeah, with my new wife, who is way richer than you! :(Ricky leaps over to the front door) :Ricky: So long, Valerie! :Vicky: It's Vicky. :Ricky: Whatever! ---- :Ricky: Hi Dolores, I'm Ricky, your new rich husband! I'm ready for my money! :Dolores-Day Crocker: And I'm ready for my first married kiss! Bring it on, candy lips! :Ricky: (recoils) Ahh! You're not a teen beauty queen, you're an old hag! ...Well, at least you're rich. :Dolores: Wrong again! I spend my money on prune juice and blood transfusions! :Ricky: What?! :Dolores: ...and, meet your new step son! :Denzel Crocker: Papa! Can I have my allowance now? (leaps into Ricky's arms) And a horsey ride on your knee? :Ricky: YAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! :Dolores: To the blood bank! (drives off) ---- :Vicky: Ricky! My one true love! Come back! RICKY! DON'T LOSE MY NUMBER! YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL NOBODY ELSE! SEND IT OFF IN A LETTER TO YOURSELF! ---- :Wanda: Wow! You did it! You broke them up... but the bad news is now there's nothing to distract Vicky's rage! :Timmy: Oh well, it can't be that bad! :Vicky: GET BACK HERE TWERP! (picks up and throws a van) :Cosmo: Don't just sit there like a footstool, RUN! ---- :Mrs. Turner: Wait a minute, I'm furious at Timmy! Category:Quote pages Category:Season 4 quote pages Category:Quotes Category:Episode quote pages Category:Episodes